


goodbye, to the you i once knew

by qq_riri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Ghosts, IwaOi Week 2017, Kinda, M/M, Oikawa starts out dead, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 11:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10853169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qq_riri/pseuds/qq_riri
Summary: Iwaizumi thinks about their past, before Oikawa died. A dead Oikawa thinks about what's happened after he died.IwaOi Week 2017: Day 7: Hellos/Goodbyes





	goodbye, to the you i once knew

He doesn’t remember their first hello. It could be that they never had one. As far as he knows, the only greeting he ever got was a shout of “Iwa-chan!” and maybe a tackle, if he was unlucky. He never really said a hello back to him, only yelled back, “Get off me!” That’s how it happened, day in, day out. The smiles, the laughter—both came easily to him then.

They played together, back then. That sport. He’d started playing for Oikawa, just to be his ace. After all, what was the use in trusting someone else to make him happy when Iwaizumi could make it happen himself? He’d taken matters into his own hands.

And then came those days, those dark days. The days when he thought that he would be outshone. But by who? Iwaizumi would want to shake him, and ask,  _ Who?  _ It turned out to be Kageyama. The days of overwork started then.

And Kageyama kept _coming coming coming. Just leave already!_ Iwaizumi wanted to scream. _Just_ _stop and look, damn you!_ Couldn’t Kageyama see what he was doing to Oikawa? He couldn’t blame the kid, though. _His_ best friend was easily the best player on the team. Who wouldn’t want to ask him for help?

And then Oikawa snapped. His arm whipped out to lash at Kageyama’s face, only halted by Iwaizumi’s own hand. He yelled at his best friend, his own frustration leaking out into his tone. Cutting words bit into each other, sharp remarks gliding smoothly off the tongue.

The apologies traded, complete with messy tears and snot running down their noses.

Later, the soft, gentle kisses that accompanied their daily squabbles. The comforting timbre of Oikawa’s voice as they lost, just. Lost. He had failed. As Oikawa’s ace, as  _ Seijou’s  _ ace. Reassuring arms. He sighs, thinking about it.

There was no goodbye, only an end. It was abrupt, just like the perfect boy who had run off with Iwaizumi’s heart and never returned it. He still cries. Cries for them, cries for  _ him. _

* * *

 

Oikawa doesn’t remember a beginning at all. Just remembers that Iwaizumi has always been there.

There were the bug hunts, the alien hunts, the pirate adventures. There was  _ volleyball.  _ He remembers the strong ace who stood by him. 

He remembers his Iwa-chan. Remembers  _ exactly  _ just how “Shittykawa!” came out of Iwa-chan’s mouth.

He remembers so much. 

The thing he remembers most, though, he thinks, is dying. He remembers how it feels to be slammed into by a huge truck, how much it hurt. But the only thing he could feel at the time was relief. Relief that it was him, and not his Iwa-chan. 

It turns out that the thing he remembers most is their... No, not their. His. His goodbye. His  _ goodbyes. _ They are at his grave, since he is tied to his remains and forever will be. 

The funeral is somber, and Oikawa cries like a baby the entire time, just seeing how saddened everyone looks. He floats, pleading for everyone to cheer up already.

The first week or so after he is buried, Iwa-chan visits every day. He is pale and lifeless. Oikawa tries to cheer him up before realizing that Iwa-chan can’t see him. Most days, Iwa-chan won’t say anything. He’ll just sit and lean on the gravestone, doing homework. Oikawa can tell that he’s holding back tears. Days come and go, only punctuated by the soft “Goodbye” Iwaizumi murmurs before heading home for the night.

His parents visit, and so does his older sister and his nephew. He cries, seeing them like this. He didn’t want this to happen, but he would do it all over again. He would do anything for Iwa-chan.

Iwa-chan’s parents visit, pleading for him to help their son through. To help him move on. Oikawa decides firmly that he will try. Not that anything he does works.

Eventually, Iwa-chan moves on. He grows up, and visits less often. He still makes it a point to visit at least once a year. Or so Oikawa figures. He doesn’t have a very good sense of time, these days.

Each goodbye is more painful than the last. He has to see his Iwa-chan grow up without him. Has to hear him talk about what’s going on, and realize how he’s missing all of this.

And then Iwa-chan brings another man with him. They come back each year. Soon, they begin coming with a child. His heartstrings tug, but he remembers that Iwa-chan moving on is a  _ good _ thing. 

It hurts still, and he cries that night. Just a little, though!

And then he sees Iwa-chan’s ghost one day, looking around the graveyard. “Oi! Shittykawa!” he yells, waving a ghostly arm. 

Oikawa’s mouth splits into a wide grin and yells back, “Iwa-chan! I missed you! You look old now!” He laughs delightedly.

Iwaizumi’s mouth turns downward for a brief second, reminded of Oikawa’s early death. 

It’s not so bad being dead with Iwa-chan here.

And then Iwa-chan’s new lover joins them shortly afterward, and Oikawa feels sick to his stomach. He knows they’ll wait for their child, and he has no place here, not anymore.

The looks they share are so tender, and it kills him again to see Iwa-chan like that. Looking like that. And not at him.

He waves goodbye, one day. “Hajime! Byebye!” He lets the last thing anchoring him to this plane go.

He sees Iwa-chan’s face turn panicked, and then horrified. He hears the shout, “Tooru!” And he does nothing, he  _ can’t _ do anything. He smiles sadly, and disappears.

He was wrong again.  _ This  _ goodbye, he remembers most vividly. Amidst his murky thoughts, he dazedly hopes that in his next life, they’ll be together again. But he knows they won’t. He closes his eyes.

He’ll learn to say goodbye to the Iwa-chan in his heart one day.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry this is completely unedited maybe one day i'll go back. i just wanted to get something out for iwaoi week before it was too late hahaa. please read and review!!


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